Pockets!!

Here's a little something fun to break up the monotony.

In the fall of 2018, I bought a new tunic. It arrived just as the weather turned very, very cold and winter arrived. I put it in the drawer to wait for spring. There it stayed until this morning when I remembered it and brought it out and am wearing it. You will notice (because I am pointing to them) that it has pockets!! I even put a tissue in it so you can see that it has pockets!! Pockets!! How lovely. It really doesn't take a lot to make me happy these days. Pockets are one of those things. Pockets!!

My Birthday Commission

For my birthday this year I commissioned a painting from granddaughter Trinity, age 15. I decided our living room needed a pop of color and I knew just what I wanted. It arrived just the other day amid lots of apologies for taking so long. I am thrilled!! It is exactly what I wanted and now hangs where I can see it often. It makes me very happy.

We hung it next to a painting done 10 years ago by grandson Kyle when he was 18. I think we have a themed wall underway - Grand Paintings!

Being Elderly

Oh, my friends, I do not feel "elderly". Sure my shoulder hurt and I started with a personal trainer and it felt So Good to get back to the gym and begin to get stronger. But I don't feel elderly.

And then came COVID-19 and suddenly I am labeled. I'm definitely elderly. Elderly begins with 60 and at 77 I am way beyond that. Wisdom says, stay inside. Next to that is the advice to the young, take care of your elderly neighbors, shop for them, check in on them, care about them to keep them from feeling isolated. Sigh.

I'm supposed to be the one doing that. But I am not. Perhaps for the first time in my life I am having to step back, stay inside and let others do the caring. I'm not offering to take meals or shop for or drive anyone anywhere.

We have a dear younger friend who is insistent that we don't even go out to the PO or grocery store on Senior Shopping morning. She is willing to pick up groceries or do the shopping for us. Another friend was in touch today with the same offer. Bless them both. I am more tempted to take up their offer than Dean is. Because we have to go to the Post Office (no home delivery in Tahoe), we might as well go to the grocery next door at our designated shopping time. I may send him by himself. Which honestly is not all that strange. He goes to the store for us a lot.

So here is the question: am I just being lazy and spoiled or am I taking care of myself and others by staying in and letting others take care of me? I know the answer of course. It is just different to let it happen and allow myself to be elderly.

I hope you are all finding ways to stay connected and happy. And of course washing your hands!

To Wed or Not to Wed?

Article after article talks about the cancellation of wedding plans, cancellations of the wedding itself, and all the angst that goes with those decisions. Women who have planned and looked forward to this amazing day/weekend/week long celebration and have planned and scheduled and made decisions from site to canapés have every reason to be torn and aching about this virus and its ruination of their plans.

May I add just a word of hope?

My first husband was a pastor and college professor, a combination of jobs that brought him to the forefront of lots of weddings over the years. These years were during a time when the night before the wedding, after a rehearsal dinner, the groom and his friends would head for the bars, become roaring drunk, and sometimes arrive still hung over for an evening wedding. Knowing this, Rex would always offer this advice at the end of the rehearsal.

"It will be best if you all come tomorrow night sober and ready to support your friends on this very special occasion in their lives. If, however, anything happens, there are only three people necessary for this celebration to take place: the bride, the groom, and me to perform the ritual. We will be here. We hope you will be too."

So - to wed or not to wed? Is that really the question? Maybe the answer is yes, wed, because you are committed to each other and to being married and then, when you are once again able to gather in large groups, throw a big party.

Oh, I know, this is a simplistic answer to a complicated question. You have probably spent a lot of money already and if you can't work for a while, where will you find the money to throw another party? The hope I want to offer is that you can get married. It won't be the wedding of the century but it will accomplish what the big party is all about in the first place: the two of you are married.

Whatever your decision, may your life together be blessed ~

Senior Citizen Shopping

Our Safeway is open on Tuesday and Thursday mornings from 6 to 9 am for senior only shopping. We went about 7:30 and there were a few people there. All of us had grey hair. I asked Rick if we needed to show our ID’s and he laughed and said we were fine. Shoppers were very congenial even though we chatted with each other from a distance. We were all in the same boat and knew it and were fine with it. Not only fine but very grateful for the opportunity. 

One negative was some of the empty spaces on the shelves. I think that came from two things - one, hoarding of course and two, they just hadn’t a chance to restock for this new routine. Today was the first day for this. My guess is by next Thursday, they will be stocked and ready for us. 

They are being serious about it. As we were checking out, our clerk called over my head, “Senior citizens only! Senior citizens only!” The young man said he had come to see Jennifer and they stopped him and called for her over the intercom. That pleased me. The clerks can no longer bag for us if we bring our own bags. That was no issue for us. Dean usually does it anyway when he is with me. I did learn that plastic can hold the virus so I am going to search out all my cloth totes, wash them well, and start using them again. 

So - it looks like we have a weekly outing - every Thursday morning to the grocery. That way we can keep fresh veggies which Dean really really likes. I thought I might walk a little after we got home but it had snowed a dusting last night and with 17* over night, it was too icy. I may get out later. At least I can stand on the deck and breathe fresh air. Exercise and movement will have to be done inside. Al, my personal trainer,  and I may have to start over in two to however many weeks, but at least I will be well and healthy to do so. 

Holding healthy thoughts for us all ~ 

Keeping Up the Routine

Today is Wednesday. It is going to be exactly like Monday and Tuesday -- and like Thursday and Friday. We are here.

And yet, because of a shift in my external routine more than a month ago (having nothing to do with the virus), I started doing laundry on Wednesday. So if you will pardon the shortness of this blog, I am off to do laundry.

Routine seems to help keep my world in order.

Have a good, routine day - and wash your hands.

Dressing for Home

Years ago I had a national job that had me traveling a lot except when I wasn't. My husband died and although I managed to do the travel, when I was having to be at home, it was hard. I didn't want to do anything. My daughter, who is a writer and has worked from home a lot of her professional life, said, "Mom, get dressed. Whatever else you do with your day, get dressed." I guess I have followed that advice all these years because the other day, before voluntary social distancing, I laughed at myself as I showered and dressed when the only thing on the agenda was laundry. "I even get dressed to do the laundry," I thought.

Now I am thinking about so many of you who are for the first time in your adult, professional life, finding yourself working from home. My advice is "get dressed". If your children are home from school, have them get dressed. The very act of changing from pjs to something else says it is time to start your day.

Oh if you are a suit and tie kind of guy, it's ok to wear an open collar sports shirt and slacks. If you are used to jewelry and heels, it's ok to be more relaxed and maybe even wear your bedroom slippers with your dress. Now that sneakers are the thing with office wear, you may already be set with the most comfortable shoes you can find. As in all things these days, be reasonable.

Just don't let yourself become a slob. If you enjoy your weekend days when you lounge around in sweats and a T, then by all means, stay with that schedule. But come Monday morning, get dressed. The shower, the clean clothes, the routine will make you feel better about yourself and the world in general. Have a good day. And remember to wash your hands!

A Different Social Distance

It's snowing. And snowing. And snowing.

What's coming down doesn't look heavy, just continuous for the last 24 hours ~ and forecast to keep coming for the next few days. The company that owns many ski areas here and around the country have closed them down because of the virus. Ergo - hotels and AirBnBs are having cancellations all over the calendar just when we are having the best snow of the season.

I'm feeling a little selfish. Without the snow, I would wonder if I was overreacting by staying home from ordinary places like the PO and grocery store. With the snow, I am doing what I would be doing anyway and staying home at least until the roads are clear.

We have invited our neighbor to come have dinner tonight. No hugging, lots of wiping and spraying. It really has changed the way we think and live. Whatever your choices, please, take care. Be wise and safe and wash your hands.

Fortunate and Grateful

Dean and I are very, very fortunate and very, very grateful as we live in this concerning time. Yes, we know we are in the "dangerous demographic" making our life style all the more fortunate.

We live in a small resort town in a house separated from its neighbors by a gentle distance. The house on one side is permanently occupied but the other is a second home and unless the owner and Dean ski together, he sometimes comes and goes and we don't even know it. Behind us is a deep and wide forest. Social distancing is not a problem.

Yes, we are AirBnB hosts and our guests, who are still coming to ski, find clean, sterilized (to the very best of our ability) spaces. I no longer shake hands when I meet them at the door. I thought that would be really difficult for this Southern hostess. Instead I am very happy to smile, introduce myself and wave them toward their rooms. We have always given a full refund if people had to cancel so doing that now is not an issue.

Even though there are just the two of us, I and our housekeepers wipe down or spray surfaces with an alcohol based product. I have even started making my own which I will share with you again:

70% alcohol
30% Witch Hazel

Alcohol may be a bit scarce right now but you probably already have some in your cabinet.

We are expecting two families to come for a visit shortly. Again we are fortunate and grateful that they live within driving distance so will be in their own cars, coming from their safe homes to our safe home where the grands can play in the snow in the forest.

In the midst of our gratitude we are also very mindful of those who cannot isolate or self-quarantine easily; whose lives are disrupted by school closings; who cannot work from home; whose immune systems are compromised and therefore even more susceptible. It is a time to stand with and for each other in love and compassion and gratitude for our blessings whatever they may be. Be wise. Be safe. And wash your hands.

An Eighteen Year Old Twit

I have mentioned I am archiving letters to and from my father during his four years at what was then Lynchburg College. You probably don't know my father but you may have heard me talk about him: prominent Dallas attorney, a pioneer in what was then called Oil and Gas Law; a churchman in the best sense of that word, Elder in his church and teacher of the same Sunday School class for 51 years;  a Trustee at TCU and supporter of education for many nieces and nephews; an upstanding and really fine man. So it  may surprise you as it did to me to discover that this incredible adult was an 18-year-old twit just like most 18-year-olds.

He arrived at college on September 5, 1923 and wrote his mother. The next letter to her I have was written on the 30th in which he answers several of her questions and says the following:

"The night of Sept 24 was all that I said. The girls were at their best and the boys also. The Faculty and Trustees soon in a receiving line. The girls lined up on one side and the boys on another so it was pot luck as to who you would pair off with. My luck was to get a blank. She was a Jonah.So we went down the line shaking hands and then went into a room an orchestra was playing. I gave a fellow the high sign and he came in and told I was wanted on the telephone (which was a big lie). So I pardoned myself and left the old girl flat. Later I took a girl home who is a day student (doesn't live at school). Tell Mary (his sister) she is a queen. I hope to get a picture to bring home of her."

Like I said - an eighteen year old twit. Nice to know most of us grow out of it.

We Sweeneys

I am in process of archiving letters to and from my father when he was in college. You will hear a lot more about that as time goes by. For now, here is an interesting piece sent to him by a friend. I like it.

We Sweeneys

by Bruce Barton

The first public man I ever interviewed was John A. Johnson, son of a poor widow, who made his way up from dire poverty to become Minnesota's youngest governor.

He spoke of a man, whose name I have long since forgotten. "That man loaned me books, when I was clerking in a country drug-store," said the Governor. "He encouraged me to read; he paid my subscription at the library. To him, more than to any other, I owe whatever I am"

Recently I ran across this sentence in a new life of Lincoln. 

"Abraham Lincoln attended school in Indiana. His first teacher was Andrew Crawford, his second a man named Sweeney; his third was Axel W. Dorsey."

A man named Sweeney. Was he a good teacher? Did he ever sit with young Abraham in front of the fire and talk? Did he suspect at all the power that was hidden in that gaunt frame?

Who was Sweeney, anyway? Just one of the forgotten millions.

What a countless army they are, the unknowns of history, the Sweeneys!

Who was the owner of the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus of Nazareth loved to retire for peace and rest? Some rich man of friendly interest and open heart, some Sweeney.

Who was the mother of Socrates?  What underpaid teacher taught Shakespeare to read? What overworked country doctor tended Joan of Arc?

Sweeneys ------------------------ all Sweeneys. 

So interwoven are the threads of human life that no single contact is trivial.  In our most casual moments we entertain angels; around the humblest of us are the influences that touch eternity. 

The world will never know our names, but it cannot do without us. We carry on, we Sweeneys. 

Day Light Savings Time

You would think after all these years I would just sigh and resign myself to the time change. And I guess I do ~ But! I don't like it. Never have and still don't.

Overall I prefer what I tend to call "God's time" although I know the concept is still created by humans because at some point in time (I haven't Googled it yet) some person decided on Greenwich Mean Time and we went from there.

Every time we switch times, there are articles about someone (I don't know who is in charge of this) talking about ending DST for good. I would like that. And I really don't care which time is chosen, GMT or DST. Just choose one and stick with it so we don't have the switch every six months.

Springing forward sends families, teachers, even non-child related adults into about a week of negativity. Everything is disrupted from a lot to a little. Falling back is easier because of one hour's more sleep but there is still a disruption in the body's system. Let's just pick a time and stay with it.

And that's my rather mild rant for today ~ remember to wash your hands!

Good, Practical Advice

I am sure all of you are already reading good, practical advice about COVIL-19, the coronavirus. And just in case you want to read more, with even a bit of humor, here is a highly recommended link:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cI_D3ULz6-qoBRMND8dIVz-naW92MqATphBg5bQEIjg/preview?fbclid=IwAR3y0RCrb02-OYdEtkksjwqFUrXKuAT85V3mPSjvYfeFKBtczQnRIyJXZMA#

This article is wise, reasonable, and factual.

I am finding it hard to greet guests in our home and not shake their hands. Still, the facts, not fear, say that this virus is passed through surface contact. Even gym protocol has changed to a wave, a nod or jazz hands and not the traditional high five. Ergo - keeping my hands away from theirs and letting my eyes and voice convey the friendly welcome.

Take care, folks. Be reasonable. Be sure of your facts. Wash your hands.

This Sounds Good

Most of you know I have a physical trainer and have been working with him for a little over two months. Because we are working on a sore shoulder, one of the things he has me doing is bicep curls ~ warming up with 2 pound weights and going all the way to 12 pounds occasionally.

So here is something really neat. I also get a massage a week. And on Monday my massage therapist told me I was developing biceps!! Ta-dah!!

I knew I was getting stronger and having more energy but to actually be developing biceps had not entered my mind. That makes me happy and gives me even more motivation to keep the old body moving. And just to stay up with yesterday's blog,  I wash my hands before gym, after gym, and as soon as I get home from gym.

Be wise and have a strong, fun day!!

Facts Not Fear

Thank you to my friend Dale for the title of this morning's post. We are both AirBnB hosts and were chatting about how we address the coronavirus issue for and with our guests.

After a long discussion with my daughters, I decided to wait until guests ask (none have yet) and to do everything we possibly can. We bought antiseptic, sterilizing wipes for each room and I made a list of all the little places for my housekeeper to wipe down. She had not arrived when I had to leave for an appointment so I left her a message through someone else.

When I came home, I asked if she had received the message and she had and I still went through the list with her. She listened very politely then said very gently, "I am a professional cleaner and I do that all the time." Well, yes! No one told me and I didn't ask. Even when I said I wanted all the door handles to the outside doors wiped down, she said she did that every time she left the house. Now if my guests ask, I can assure them we have always done everything we can to assure their room is clean and comfortable. Facts not fear.

One daughter works for a district school system and their superintendent sent out an email saying in essence but more completely, "We are following the CDC guidelines" then listed a number of resources for parents and staff to access factual information. Parents were encouraged to be in touch with their school's principal if they had any questions at all. Facts not fear.

Articles and interviews are finally telling some very clear facts about this virus and ways to combat it. Every one that I have read or heard starts with "Wash you hands". Hmmmm - don't I remember my mom teaching me that when I was little? And if I'm not mistaken, I taught my daughters that when they were little. I'm sure we aren't the only ones which probably accounts for the meme I saw that said that it might be a good idea to wash our hands regularly even if there isn't an epidemic of some sort around. Facts not fear.

Be diligent, my friends. Learn the facts. Be reasonable. Do not live in fear. And, please, wash your hands.

"My brother's keeper?"

I am very aware that my post yesterday was more like a pout from a first world perspective. The issues I was concerned about were really minor in the course of even my life. It was just the way I was feeling which is what this blog will deal with among other things.

The whole sense of responsibility goes back so far in time that the writers of Genesis incorporated it into the very first of the human story. Cain kills his brother Abel and when God asks where Abel is, Cain replies that he does not know and asks, "Am I my brother's keeper?" Interestingly, God does not answer that question but rather asks another, "What have you done?"

The implication being, "Yes, you are." And that implication continues throughout Judeo-Christian scripture and many other spiritual and philosophical writings. Every religious writing has somewhere in it what Christians call the Golden Rule: Do to others as you would have them do to you. Be responsible for and to others as you would have them be responsible for and to you.

We are responsible. Parents take on the responsibility of raising children, and an awesome responsibility that is! Over the years, men in particular have taken on the responsibility of making money, caring for a family, building a business. People in the military take on the responsibility of protecting and defending the nation. And politicians are supposed to take on the responsibility of representing the people who elected them.

And because we all wear this mantle of responsibility, and that mantle slips from our shoulders, we have a right to be asked (or to ask), "What have you done?"

Responsibility

Well, good morning! It has been a while, mainly because something happened and I couldn't get back into my first blog to add anything. That was ok because I didn't have much to say for a while. Once I decided I would like to share some reflections, starting over seemed too much trouble. This morning I decided why not? So, here we go ~ and welcome to reflections from the Tahoe Mom.

Let's start with responsibility. I am a responsible person. I have gone to school, raised a family, held jobs, cooked meals (Oh wow, have I cooked meals!), seen that the house was clean whether I did it myself or hired someone to do it, and basically lived a responsible life.

And this morning I don't want to be responsible!!! Except I come out of the bedroom and there is the dog - Oso, if you haven't been introduced - waiting patiently with tail thumping for mom to feed him.
Oso is a very clever dog. He chases bears, announces arrivals at the front door, and knows when it is time to eat. What he cannot do is get his own food. I think it has to do with no opposable thumbs. So I feed him.

There is the dishwasher ~ unable to unload itself. I know. Dean can also unload it or at least take a dish or two out. And the pattern has been set and I feel responsible. So I unload it.

Another pattern that has been set is my cooking breakfast. It's rather easy. With little variation,  we eat the same thing almost every morning so no decisions. And once in a while Dean will make something special like pancakes. But basically the responsibility for breakfast is mine and this morning, I Do Not want to do it. Sigh. But I will because I feel responsible.

So I have been thinking about this concept of responsibility, what creates it, what instills it, and what makes it drive us into doing even when we would rather be doing something else. Even as I write, Dean is bringing in fire wood to keep the morning fire going ~ in other words, being responsible.